This guy is literally Robbie Williams

Someone explain this to me

I really hate it when guys ask, "What do you want me to do to you?"

Clearly there is a right answer, which is, "I want you to have sex with me."

But I don't want that.  Clearly not because they're not even here.  They're on the other end of a smartphone.  Plus I just don't want it.

So why on earth do all these men think it's a sexy thing to say?  If they're that bothered about finding girls on the Internet who can make them horny, they should just shut up and watch some porn.  That's why it was invented.  

Leave me alone and let me sleep.  Ta.

Rant.

I'm guessing by now most people have come across these articles about anti-date rape nail polish.  The idea is that a woman paints her nails with this particular varnish, then she can stir her drink with her finger, and if it's been drugged, the nail varnish will change colour.

It seems that any time an advancement is made in the field of rape prevention, there's a whole army of women who choose to take offence at it.  Apparently this nail polish is bad because it's "promoting victim blaming" and doesn't "pull from the roots" of what causes rape [Laci Green].

Of course it would be better if we could stamp out rape by teaching men to respect women's bodies.  Nobody's disputing that.  But I challenge everyone who takes issue with anti-rape nail varnish to go into the prisons and convert all the rapists and perverts.  There is probably something wrong with their minds a lot of the time; that NEVER excuses rape or assault, but does make it very difficult to teach them not to be rapists and perverts.

And I certainly don't think this nail polish can be accused of encouraging victim blaming.  It wouldn't be my fault at all if somebody decided to burgle my house, but I still lock my doors at night and set an alarm when I go out. Just because something isn't our fault, doesn't mean we can't take preventative measures.  If you're putting on nail varnish on anyway for a night out, surely it won't kill you to wear the anti-rape stuff? 

The aim here is not to blame the woman; rather it sets out to empower us by giving us more control over our own safety, and helps us to relax and enjoy our night out, safe in the knowledge that no perverts can spike our drinks.

Sorry but...

I don't think I could ever date a guy who's got a better cleavage than me.  It would just be unfair!

I have a feeling this one won't end in marriage

Oh I do love a foreign name

I just matched with a guy called Radoslaw.  At first I was enjoying stalking his pictures but then I started to wonder whether he has a brother called Coleslaw and I got distracted.

Sure you're not...

What is my life coming to?

I just had to charge my phone up to make sure I could go on Tinder whilst on the toilet.  Is this normal?  Are there tablets I can take for my addiction?

Maybe someone should invent some sort of patch that's like a nicotine patch but fluffy so you can still enjoy swiping something.

Good job he's not a professional proofreader

Wow, scary

I've found another one!

This guy also talks about being "born and bread".  Maybe it's me who's wrong here. Maybe they're all part of the Church of the Born and the Bread or something and I'm the one who's been missing out.

This guy is so right.

I just read the bio of Joe, age 20.  He says "Life is too short to remove USB safely."  That's got to be worth a swipe right, surely?

Sounds like a challenge...

Ouch.

 I just had my first experience of being unmatched by someone with whom I tried to make normal conversation.  It's a shame, he was a rather dashing Frenchman and I think I would have quite fancied him if I'd ever had the opportunity to meet him in person.

Mind you, apparently guys get this treatment all the time from girls so I shouldn't really complain.

Plus, according to Tinder, there are 259 more fish in the sea...

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

OMG.  A rugby player just matched with me.  An actual INTERNATIONAL RUGBY PLAYER.  Can this be real?

Not gonna lie, I might be hyperventilating slightly...

#swoon

Music college rivalry is alive and well on Tinder

Thank goodness for that!

I just matched with a guy who claims to be an "excellent spider catcher."  I'm definitely going to add that to my list of criteria for the perfect husband.

Whenever I see a spider, people ask me why I don't just kill it; I wish it were that simple.  It's nice that, by sparing the spider's life, I look like a good person, but sadly that's only a small part of the reason I don't kill spiders.  I don't kill spiders because I'm too scared to get within touching distance of them.  Normally I stare at them until they run away under the door.

We recently had a large spider in our student house in Cardiff.  He came through a hole in the kitchen and decided to live in the doorway.  Not cool, guys.  I was leaping over him every time I got hungry for about a month.  It sounds hilarious but it's no joke when you've got a pint of lemonade in one hand and a something BURNY HOT fresh from the microwave in the other.

So all things considered, Aneesh the banisher of spiders seems like a good bet.

On a serious note...

Yesterday I matched with a really attractive Asian guy and I was quite pleased with myself.  He was very nice.  We had a lovely conversation.

Today he's deleted Tinder because apparently he's fed up with racist girls matching with him so they can call him the p word and a terrorist.  Does this make anyone else feel sick?

If you don't happen to fancy people whose skin is a different colour to yours, that's totally fine!  Just swipe left!  But for goodness' sake, don't match with someone so you can be horrible.  All it does is causes unnecessary bad feeling and makes the rest of us women look bad.

Tinder may be a bit of a laugh, but it has taught me that everyday racism is still a huge problem in the lives of non-white British people, and it's really disgusting.

Plus I may have missed out on a nice date thanks to racism, so even if you, the reader, are a racist (which I sincerely hope you're not), you can't blame me for being a bit miffed!

I think not.

This guy's only got one ball...

Do these chat-up lines ever work?

This guy and his dog appear to share a hairdresser

Lovely dinner out

I guess I ought to mention "Turnip", my current favourite Tinder friend.  When we went out for dinner the other day, we reached the milestone in our friendship where we decided that each of us would be sad if the other one died.  And they say romance is dead...

English born and bread

This guy sounds delicious... But I swiped left

Poor spelling is soooooooo not attractive

Fair play to this bloke, not many leave me lost for words

I should add that this was a response to my "Moment" (Where you post a photo for all your matches to view) where I was sad that I had eaten all my chocolate.

Does this guy think it's attractive to be crude?

Some people should probably learn how to use a dictionary

Tinder Ninja

A few weeks ago, I was introduced to the fascinating world of Tinder.  I've "met" some lovely people and even been on a few dates with a rather handsome young man!  But it's fair to say I've  come across my fair share of nutters.  Sometimes I can't resist a sneaky screen shot of some of the crazy things that people say.  And now I'm sharing them with the world.